ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize