I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
