That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
How's work?
Spinning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
