he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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