My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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