Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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