im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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