A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
