No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude i'm inner monologue high
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
