the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
