They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
