she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
