I wish my penis had an off switch
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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