had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
