Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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