So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
