I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
