mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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