I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
