You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
