so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
