North Korea, Best Korea!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
