so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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