Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
