I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize