Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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