i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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