Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
