Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
