And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
