Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
