he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize