Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
