he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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