New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
