Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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