Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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