Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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