Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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