They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
