What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
