I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
