put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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