Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
