Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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