"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
