Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
