Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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