If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
