is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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