Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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