He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
