Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
