just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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