i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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