So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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