I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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